448. "Catch Share" as the Next Level of the Literary-Multimedia Video Game::: First Publishing Experiment in Literary Magazines Since November 2005

Right now, since I am trying to publish "Catch Share" in more formal literary journals, I can't let the story see the light of day.... Only the underground.... *sigh* I like to put everything on my blog, but I like it how I have a "secret." Like the whole "Victoria what's your secret?" is now into play and I feel like I have backing from some of my favorite professors that I have something up my sleeve.... He he he....

I am only looking for the story publishing version of "Catch Share" so in this blog, I included a poem that I wrote the evening before I started writing the prose version. Poems are like warm-up compilations of thoughts to longer pieces. The PDF of the poem can be found here:
http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/2catchsharepoem.pdf.

Below is a PDF of a lengthy chronicle of all the hoops I went through thus far in order to be convinced that I am ready to start experimentation at the next playing field of publishing. I guess two major obstacles I overcame was receiving major encouragement and advice from Barry Spacks and Shelly Lowenkopf. It was the first time going to Shelly's that he "gave me the card," or, he gave me a card of a list of potential places to start considering submissions. Shelly gave me a very nice compliment, "This story is so whacky and so far out there that you better just get your self a roll of stamps, and keep submitting until someone accepts it for publication." Shelly's said other great pieces of advice and compliments about my writing, but this is the first time he ever encouraged me to go full gear into the publishing experimentation phase. In addition, along the way, Barry Spacks gave me advice to read Samuel Beckett, Gertrude Stein, Wendell Berry, and Lynda Barry. I did my initial survey of the literary magazine market in the PDF below, but very exclusive to my needs: (1) electronic preferred (2) simultaneous submissions preferred (3) I can submit now (as opposed to September) (4) prefers experimental work, words synthesized with images "graphic stories" genre (5) expects an ERUDITE AUDIENCE; TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE is a BONUS than a hindrance--e.g. ENVIRONMENTAL SLANT (5) prefers to see NEW and UNPUBLISHED writers (6) return response is rapid (6 weeks over 6 months).

http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/3gaugingcatchshareresponseFIRSTPUBLI.pdf.

Shelly gave me the card! Shelly gave me the card! Shelly gave me the card! Woohoo! The sad part is that three of these literary journals are closed to open submissions over the summer. *Sigh.*

All the places I sent my story to... all over the world... including England! That was four dollars in postage! Gawdzeeks!
I submitted to Zoetrope All Story Fiction contest (receipt above) and also Southern California Review Fiction contest: http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/7SCRfictionprizeform.pdf.

Anyhow, compared to my non-optimistic 2005 publishing experiment venture, I remain very optimistic and excited about this experiment. I have a new-found philosophy and can take rejections as if I accidentally swallowed an ant, not being struck by a lightning bolt. Rejections are part of the game. I think it's all about chance encounter, frequency of encounter, and developing compatibility. I am trying to make my writing the new invasive species of the literary community. I'm not trying to dominate, but more so subsist. What's more fun than that?

446. "The Psychopathic Koan" A Short Story

PDF for "The Psychopathic Koan" is found here: http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/thepsychopathickoanshortstory.pdf. If I receive great reviews for this story, I'll take this blog entry off line and consider it for submission to a few literary journals.

As I had told Barry Spacks, I was struggling about the last two weeks of June with a story entitled "The Peacock and the Bowerbird." I had been collecting, amassing data, trying to organize the story as much as possible... and then I reached a threshold in which I could no longer work on it anymore. Why? (1) I had quarantined all the information I needed. Instead of becoming a never-ending diffuse identity, the tumor of T suddenly became discrete and bounded. (2) Right now my life is flowing, changing all the time, at hourly, daily, and longer scales. Everything is flowing positive. I am not ready yet to tackle a failure in my life. I am not ready to end a story in a tragedy. (3) I had some level of difficulty in organizing the material because I didn't have a more simplified recipe for a controversial character with "psychopathic qualities." I returned to Santa Barbara feeling my head was a lot cleaner, a lot calmer, a lot more open and vacant, especially since the tumor had now been contained, yet still not removed. But a LOT less painful. The process of containment removed the possibility of "spread" into any other parts of my mind and body. Then again, it's still a fairly large tumor.

So, as I was driving through Santa Barbara, out of all the layers chaos involved in "The Peacock and the Bowerbird," a VERY CLEAR IDEA came to me. As the T tumor or T parasite (I can't wait to scoop out) told me one time a koan-story about a man who broke a jug of water in which he worked so hard to acquire and walked on from the scene as if nothing ever happened, and at the time he seemed to perceive the koan as a way of how he wanted to lead his life (dthfthr)(freeneasywndr learn from mistakes?). Sorry, those were just personal notes. The context of telling the koan story. So, then I started to think about it more and more... and now I was in Goleta, and I realized this is it. This story is it--a formula for a simplification of the character! A fundamental unit of organization I needed in order to better understand the construction of the character... and as a result, the overall story. A simple koan could suddenly describe this horde of information of a method of existence of a person who injured, wounded, damaged my inner emotions, intellect, meaning of existence overall.... The word psychopathy quickly crept up to me.... And the story marinated in my head for a day, and finally on the Fourth of July, down in San Diego, I had a fabulous conversation with Jules about the koan, and he added his own twist to the interpretation. The following morning (after a good night's Fourth of July sleep, without watching fireworks, boohoo), I woke up and cranked out a rough draft for "The Psychopathic Koan." Then followed by a jog, a dodge to Kinkos in a white truck, I cranked out the pictures and a first working rough final draft by the evening. The story was 3 pages long with my formatting, about 7 pages long with standard page formatting.

I was amazed. I wished I could write stories like that, in such a fabulous workflow... almost all the time! The best part is that the evil demon that drives the plot and tragic ending for "The Peacock and the Bowerbird" was formulated into a simple formula, recipe. I really needed that. By the time I returned to Santa Barbara once again. My mind became even calmer. I had more room for positive thoughts.

Yesterday, I talked with Barry Spacks about the story. I told him out the revelation of this story was an act of impulse, and sometimes I feel fresh stories are absent of vital details that add vital sprits of resolution... reality... just as long as it's not too much. At first Barry tried to halt me in telling him about the story because it's like www.ruinedendings.com. Don't ruin the story for Barry! But I think he saw the struggle in my eyes and voice, and "The Psychopathic Koan" was a very bothersome issue for me worth discussing. I ended up spewing the story in sketch form. Barry really liked the idea of a "psychopathic" koan. I informed him that I was surprised that many of my peers did not know what a koan was, given that Buddhism is pretty popular. Barry informed me that koans are found in the less popular branch of the two branches of Buddhism (Renzai?). Koans are short stories inteded to be anti-rationality... insult rationality all together. And I chuckled, "Well that makes sense!" Barry also stated that koans, like the Bible, can give people an "surface-value jitter" or shakiness. Either the religious association compels them to read the story... or urges them to shy away... But I suppose koans are good (Buddhism overall), and it invites people to think. I suppose when I add "psychopathic" in front of "koan" perhaps the flavor of religion is toned down a bit. And lastly, Barry mentioned that at the beginning of the story there seemes to be an emphasis in telling the koan-story, and after the break, two characters at a bar took interest in the koan simply because they sensed that the story pertained to their own personal past failures, but were still trying to figure it out. Barry flat out told me in the end it seemed like the most important aspect of the story is not necessarily the koan itself, but how the two main characters related to each other, as well as their own inner selves and lives. Ooops! As soon as Barry said that, I internally flipped a switch and realized I had to figure out a few more aspects of the story and add a few more lines to further develop the relationship in the story. I made one more final round of edits, and now I am about ready to send "The Psychopathic Koan" to him.

418. Essay "The Devaluation of Reality" (Economic Discounting) Inspired by Conversation with My Housemate Kyle (First Fan Letter to Malcolm Gladwell!)

Slideshow of Supplemental Imagery Affiliated with the essay "Devaluation of Reality."

From Supplemental Imagery with Essay "Devaluation of Reality: Thoughts on Discounting in Economics..."

PDF of the Fan Letter can be accessed below:
http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/fanlettertomalcolmgladwell.pdf

From Supplemental Imagery with Essay "Devaluation of Reality: Thoughts on Discounting in Economics..."

PDF of the FULL Devaluation of Reality can be accessed below:
http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/devaluationofrealitydiscounting.pdf
I am so braindead from working on this essay that I have nothing else to say, except that I am re-immersing in the context of the Santa Barbara Kinkos, with two very annoying kids right behind me pressing computer buttons and making beeping noises that are a little more annoying than a swarm of juvenile sqwacking (misp.) seagulls.

Notes, Conversation with Bub: The value of the dollar also this SYMBOLIC value of a currency arbitrary and in flux. Relative value of the resource may be the same, but not necessarily the currency. People do not value the future. Inflation means devaluation of the dollar. Galloping inflation (money is less important, demand for a raise, unions, strike). Inflationary spiral. Love, sex, death. Work, groceries, sex, watching movies. Economy of scale--mass production decreases price. Local--experiential doesn't necessarily mean valuable. Value--arbitrary fixation--on rocks or diamond rings. Tipping Point = Beer. I need to have everything now, even though I already have everything I need. People want certainty even though the world is uncertain--room for religion. Couple of word errors. Oops!

IMAGE CAPTIONS:
**Supplemental Imagery with Essay "Devaluation of Reality: Thoughts on Discounting in Economics..." Individual Spatial-Temporal Thinking. Drawn with my right hand (I am left-handed!) in Photoshop!
**Definition of Proximal and Ultimate Spacetime.
**Devaluation of systems with increased spacetime from frame of reference. Linear? Exponential?
**Thresholds of resource/information accessibility and resource/information hypersaturation--with a window of optimality (sanity and degree of manageability) in the middle.
**Eusocial Ecological Niche Space. Why do professors only have 5 grad students, not 500?

375. Today is October 15 or 16, 2005 of My Writer Life (Bonus Three Poems!)

Writer Life. Short Essay. Page 1.

Writer Life. Short Essay. Page 2.

Writer Life. Short Essay. Page 3.

PDF file for Writer Life:

http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/writerlife.pdf.

Additional commentary of thoughts below:

0. Ever since I applied to the AAAS Mass Media Fellowship, I feel that I have acquired heightened consciousness and that my writing has improved... to some degree.

1.In the Questioning of Reality, my profession is to extract the best out of everybody and everything, and discard all things that are negative and broken, saving them for another day for a deeper transformation into light.

2. I need to wake up every single day and see something new. Even if I have to work hard and write to see it. Even if it takes blood and sweat and tears from connecting fragmented neurons of the deep… for me to see it. For me to see something new….

3. The only person who can change me is my own self.

4. The more I learn about the environment and interactions with the environment, the more I learn about the innerworkings of my own mind.

5. To Know More? To Know Less? But don’t Know Too Much, for I have learned in several occasions it leads Down the Road to Disappointment.

6. I just wrote “Fruiel” out of me (fake name for protection). I am no longer in pain…. The experiences are in me; the person is out of me. If you know what I mean. It’s a very writerly psychological trick.

7. It’s amazing to think I have been through so much torment the last three years and to only think that I have only consciously received two gray hairs is close to biologically daunting!

8. The best part about October 15, 2005 is that you will never know the future. You will never know the consequences of your own actions. Nothing is predictable. It’s blank slate all over again, carving a road, and living twice. Seeing new elements of your environment you have never seen before… every single day is a brand new adventure of altered inner perception.

9. When you don’t consider the outcome of the future, you stop thinking about “what is the next big break” of external forces. But you think about the internal forces; you think about and tend to the community of people who have come to accept and love you… and have made a home for you. You are tending to them through your writing. The rest of “greatness” is an illusion; it’s a fun game to pursue, but meaningless beyond your own very close intellectual kin… except perhaps, to greet new members of your intimate audience. In the end of the day, all you do is care about the people who care about you.

10. My aunt Jeri Lyn thoughtfully said over Christmas, “To be an artist, you must be bold and brave to be alone. To venture into the vulnerable reaches of your seemingly tough, yet fragile mind. To sort out the deep-rooted tangles. I have Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax by my side. A children’s book that changed the world. If he can dig through himself, then so can I!

11. It’s all about the deeper motives… the deeper motives in your own hands. It’s not about the Biologically Incorrect Blog. It’s about the Lulu.

12. POEM CALLED INTELLECTUAL POTPOURRI

So I met those two lovers
Of intellectual potpourri
They had great big bowers
Colored, playful rivalry

Certified geniuses
All stood back and stared and gawked
Their teasing thoughts meaningless
Rehashing what is for what it ought—

To be changed.

The sincerity of problems
Of our day.


Oh so silly!

The Sanctified Science of Potpourri!
Society exalts Egoes Of Arbitrary
To pseudo-subgod Higher Beings

For the Intellectual Entertainment
Of the Long Hours of Tonight
Just to relish and forget
In the long, long minutes
Of long lines

Of stores distracting
With groceries.

*Spit!*

13. POEM CALLED ECOLOGICAL RATIONALITY VERSUS EVOLUTIONARY PRIMALITY

If the world were less populated,
I would be easily satisfied with
The pre-existing protocols of biology—
Forage for a male and give birth to new human flesh—
The usual mindless routine of evolution.

But the world is not that way today,
And there is pressing value
For the birth of New Ideas
As opposed to the birth of empty-minded human biomass,
To which merely serves as a draining resource
Than a bountiful agent of thoughtful change.

And though evolution guides my thoughts toward
The Commonplace of Ingrained Biological Institutions,
My Ecological Rationality Trumps the Reptile
And it manipulates that lizard in me
Towards its very own goals….

In hope of finding all those
Who do and share and pursue the same.

14. Poem called LANDSCAPE'S COAT

So we were wearing similar coats

and it got too hot, it got too close.

Now we have our own landscape attire

Now what is our true, underlying desire?

In a stretched time lapse

Allo-pamatric romance

In space-time collapse

The pained study relapses

And Case Closed

Opens Again

Resuming Trial 2

Of the Experiment.

Will it end

In the same

Conclusion?

342. Preliminary Cartoon Prompt on a Short Story Called "The Westside LovePillows: A Graduate Student's Wonderfully Absurd Break from Graduate School"

Westside Lovepillows Logo. Original Design. Version 1.

Westside Lovepillows Logo. Original Design. Version 2.

Westside Lovepillows Logo. Original Design. Version 3.

Westside Lovepillows Logo. Original Design. Version 4.

Westside Lovepillows Logo. Second Design. Version 1.

Westside Lovepillows Logo. Second Design. Version 2.

Last week I wrote the rought draft of a short story entitled, "The Westside LovePillows: A Graduate Student's Wonderfully Absurd Break from Graduate School." Thankfully, the energy of writing this short story can be channeled toward my College of Creative Studies Writing Class.

These cartoons are just prompts. I hope to have the opportunity later today to finish writing the short story.

184. Science Fiction Story Proposal, "The Great Butterfly Effect," and the Dawn of "Subconcious Eco-terrorism"

It's a four-page document. Please visit the whole proposal! Click on link below!

http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/greatbutterflyeffect1.pdf

183. Short Story "Venturing Into Uncharted Emotional Landscapes" by Anonymous in Denial

Five-page short story cranked out this morning. Mostly for helping focus and clear thoughts. Documentation purposes, to say in the least. Not written by me, but by Anonymous in Denial. A close association of mine. Cool name!

Whatever happens, she is now mentally prepared!

http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/venturingintounchartedemotionalandsc.pdf