483. Poem "How Does It Feel" Based on a Tragic Car Accident

The PDF of the poem can be found here: http://sites.google.com/site/stokastika2/howdoesitfeelpoem1.pdf.

Yesterday I had an opportunity to meet "Waldo" as Jules calls him, and he told me of a horrific story in which a 21-year old girl was hit by a car that was going 60 miles-per-hour. She is presently in a coma, but is receiving intense hospital care, and they are slowly weening her off the respiratory machine. I was very attracted to this story because (1) the situation explores very visceral, subconscious forms of existence, and requires imagination of how this visceral form of existence relates to states of higher consciousness (I'm sure Samuel Beckett would approve of my showing interest!) and (2) this scenario could happen to anyone--including myself. Victoria as "jogger roadkill." Absurd, and yet not. Something very real. And from a personal take, this story can definitely explain why Waldo suddenly went MIA for a while when we anticipated on meeting about 3-4 weeks ago.

I hope all outcomes of this story turn for the better. And through writing this poem, it has helped me imagine how it could possibly feel being in such a helpless state.

448. "Catch Share" as the Next Level of the Literary-Multimedia Video Game::: First Publishing Experiment in Literary Magazines Since November 2005

Right now, since I am trying to publish "Catch Share" in more formal literary journals, I can't let the story see the light of day.... Only the underground.... *sigh* I like to put everything on my blog, but I like it how I have a "secret." Like the whole "Victoria what's your secret?" is now into play and I feel like I have backing from some of my favorite professors that I have something up my sleeve.... He he he....

I am only looking for the story publishing version of "Catch Share" so in this blog, I included a poem that I wrote the evening before I started writing the prose version. Poems are like warm-up compilations of thoughts to longer pieces. The PDF of the poem can be found here:
http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/2catchsharepoem.pdf.

Below is a PDF of a lengthy chronicle of all the hoops I went through thus far in order to be convinced that I am ready to start experimentation at the next playing field of publishing. I guess two major obstacles I overcame was receiving major encouragement and advice from Barry Spacks and Shelly Lowenkopf. It was the first time going to Shelly's that he "gave me the card," or, he gave me a card of a list of potential places to start considering submissions. Shelly gave me a very nice compliment, "This story is so whacky and so far out there that you better just get your self a roll of stamps, and keep submitting until someone accepts it for publication." Shelly's said other great pieces of advice and compliments about my writing, but this is the first time he ever encouraged me to go full gear into the publishing experimentation phase. In addition, along the way, Barry Spacks gave me advice to read Samuel Beckett, Gertrude Stein, Wendell Berry, and Lynda Barry. I did my initial survey of the literary magazine market in the PDF below, but very exclusive to my needs: (1) electronic preferred (2) simultaneous submissions preferred (3) I can submit now (as opposed to September) (4) prefers experimental work, words synthesized with images "graphic stories" genre (5) expects an ERUDITE AUDIENCE; TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE is a BONUS than a hindrance--e.g. ENVIRONMENTAL SLANT (5) prefers to see NEW and UNPUBLISHED writers (6) return response is rapid (6 weeks over 6 months).

http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/3gaugingcatchshareresponseFIRSTPUBLI.pdf.

Shelly gave me the card! Shelly gave me the card! Shelly gave me the card! Woohoo! The sad part is that three of these literary journals are closed to open submissions over the summer. *Sigh.*

All the places I sent my story to... all over the world... including England! That was four dollars in postage! Gawdzeeks!
I submitted to Zoetrope All Story Fiction contest (receipt above) and also Southern California Review Fiction contest: http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/7SCRfictionprizeform.pdf.

Anyhow, compared to my non-optimistic 2005 publishing experiment venture, I remain very optimistic and excited about this experiment. I have a new-found philosophy and can take rejections as if I accidentally swallowed an ant, not being struck by a lightning bolt. Rejections are part of the game. I think it's all about chance encounter, frequency of encounter, and developing compatibility. I am trying to make my writing the new invasive species of the literary community. I'm not trying to dominate, but more so subsist. What's more fun than that?

447. A Poem of Pointlessness (A Potential Conversation with Samuel Beckett in My Head)

A Poem of Pointlessness

I discovered I was
a Nihilist of sorts.
I didn't even know it!
Nihilism means
the point of existence is to
emphasize there is no point
of existence.
I mean, there is a point of existence,
and it's a bit beyond no point.
Granted my Ph.D. topic is
"What's the point?"
simply because there's a
widespread discrepancy between
what we know
and how we behave.
We live in chronic dynamics
of shifting paradoxes, hypocrisies,
revealing absurdity of human behavior.
But uh... otherwise...
I find lots of points of existence,
but perhaps saying
there's no point of existence
is a good baseline of assumptions
to start building more elaborate
points of existence,
eh?
Like hunger,
and the satisfaction of it.
So, to be Nihilist,
you must argue
the point that there is no point.
It's a process, not a purpose.
And that's how you find a point.
And then,
we go from there.