249. "Media Reality, People's Reality" Poem / Song Initial Response to American Idol, Phoenix, Arizona

Below is a rough draft sketch of initial thoughts that need to be further elaborated.

Media Reality::People's Reality
(poem/song by Victoria "Stokastika")

How can I resume to assume
When there's hardly a thing, to hold on to?
How can I come to trust you
When there's no longer incentive to pursue?

Media Reality::People's Reality
Incumbency. Discrepancy.
Between what They Feed
And what We Need
Between what We Know
And what They Need Us--
To Believe....

Bombard! Repeat!
Till Truth Comes
From Your Lying!
Bombard! Repeat!
Till Truth Comes
From Your Lying!

I think it is insulting to look at myself in the mirror, and with my multiple encounters with Hollywood the last year and a half--to think that I have worked so hard in life, to think that I have developed strength in my mind--only to be rejected by these "agents" and "producers" who value "image" over "conduct," who value "sparkly super human tricks" over profound content and emotional depth of the performance! Talk about the root of, and the perpetration of surface-value discrimination and stereotyping!!!

To think that my parents lied to me when I was a little kid--they lied to me saying that if I worked hard, then I will get what I deserve, I will be rewarded, and I will go far. Well, the more and more I am out in the real world, I have come to realize that they lied flat-out.

So now, the pure, idealist values of my mind are in conflict, in a multi-layer bind of the spectrum of conflictory values of society.

All the statistics in the university says that there is a discrepancy between what the public wants and needs (in terms of mental consumption) versus what the multi-media producers force-feed and drown the public in.

It's one thing to collect all the statistics in the world.

It's another thing to directly encounter and experience it--directly--and be rejected--in your face--and to allow this echo of rejection vibrate within every neuron and bone and tissue layer within your body. The frustration and anger and anxiety builds up until there is a point you just yell out--and who knows where you will be when that moment comes (thankfully I was in the middle of the desert between Arizona and California).

A rejection based on image and style over conduct and content has essentially shattered twenty years of my education. Hence, I go back to my Ph.D. question, entitled: "What's the point?"

What values are these?
The summation of human brains in society experiencing a multi-layered bind of denial and confusion and chaos because there is no value system and there is this illusion of some reward system?

[Okay, that was the end of my rough draft. I have a LOT more to say about this topic, but we'll save that for LATER! I created the above main theme of the song in the car after a Toastmaster's meeting in which Greg (a police detective) discussed "The Hollywood Factor" in the public's perception of police.]