519. A Random Videographic Adventure with Alexander "The Great Raguzi" and Ron "The Voice" Jackson at Pechanga Casino, April 10, 2010

Picasaweb Caption That Goes with the Images: When I first met Alexander "The Great Raguzi" on Thursday, Midnight, at a Rite Aid Parking Lot, in Riverside, California, and we ended up talking and yapping for about an hour, I think both of us were probably looking for something new, something random, something different, something unexpected in our own lives. As my poetry professor Barry Spacks started a short story, "Change your life, until your life changes." And that is what exactly happened--both our lives changed, even to the smallest degree, through our own interaction--before I knew it, I was doing videography and photography work for Alexander at Pechanga Casino on a Saturday afternoon--it was my first, small-paid video/photo gig--and it was just wonderful to jive with someone that you never met before, but a few days later, you felt like you knew them for your entire life. I left Alexander in a big smile with my work. A new resume item: "I even astonished a magician with my video work!"


Youtube Caption: Adventures with the Great Raguzi, Magician: Collage of Magic Acts at Pechanga Casino, April 10, 2010. Shot and edited by Victoria Minnich.


Youtube Caption: Adventures with the Great Raguzi, Magician: Act with Lights and Dove at Pechanga Casino, April 10, 2010. Shot and edited by Victoria Minnich.


Youtube Caption: Adventures with the Great Raguzi, Magician: Act with Knots and Candle at Pechanga Casino, April 10, 2010. Shot and edited by Victoria Minnich.

It was Thursday night, and I was determined to participate in Duke University's "Green in Three" video contest. The only problem was that all my 30 hours of rock crab footage was in Riverside, and I was in Santa Barbara that week. So, after having a superb photographic discussion with Shannon Switzer (she'll be a conservation photographer for Destination Three Degrees, two elite surf kayakers traveling through the Hawaiian islands to raise awareness about plastics in the ocean), I started to head home to Riverside, with the worst traffic ironically in Santa Barbara. I was going crazy because I couldn't buy a rock crab at the Ranch 99 market in San Fernando Valley, so I started to improvise my initial ideas and head home. By the time I reached Riverside, it was 11:30pm at night and I needed to get some sugar free candy at Rite Aid. So, I go about in my usual routine and I'm sitting in the car, moving my cell phone around to get it charged, and this man approaches me--he's tall mid-aged, very-cool looking African American wearing some hip clothes that were kind of like funk army-wear--and he asked me to roll down the window. "Excuse me for asking, but you went on a road trip?" There was a hesitating part in me at first--I'm wired up to editing a film with a deadline for the next day--and some random guy I don't know wants to discuss a road trip close to midnight at a Rite Aid parking lot! Well, the hesitation started to melt away, as I began telling him about how my friend Shannon and I went around the Pacific Coast, but not the midwest or East Coast--which this guy's from Chicago--but maybe in the future we can take a longer trip. I was quickly learning that this person was very kind, intelligent, open-minded, had a charming personality, and though we were two random people we ended up having a lot to talk about. I soon learned that his name was Alexander Germaine "The Great Raguzi," a professional magician who was about to do an opening act in Pechanga Casino, and Alexander learned that I'm a graduate student in science and art--with film training--and then I learned that one of his sons was accepted into medical school at UCLA and UCI (his son worked with Dr. Neil Schiller at UC Riverside, who I knew through my younger tennis days) and my eyes bulged because I had a few friends from high school who tried to get into medical school and they ended up having to go all the way back east--being rejected by the programs in California... my gosh.... Before I knew it, Alexander was performing magic tricks right in front of me--with a handkerchief and a few coins--as I was left flustered wondering how he performed these tricks (increasingly frustrating for a scientist, eh?) as he was explaining to me the philosophies of magic: (1) the whole goal of a magician is to practice tricks to a point in which the audience experiences a sense of astonishment (from experiencing the unexpected, from being innocently fooled) and that (2) magic is a combination of blending math, science (physics), engineering, and most importantly... psychology. In addition, the word "magic" is always a word of attraction to people. Always luring people to watch. And I even learned some more of Alexander's background: how at a certain point in his life he was involved in engineering but received a two-year grant from the Chicago Arts Council to pursue magic full time. And that's when his pursuits led him to California. Alexander also trained with Siegfred and Roy and worked with tigers! (that's probably how he learned how to stay cool on stage; it's easier to perform in front of other humans instead of tigers, who can attack you if they sense any fear around you) (and operated an organic restaurant).

As I am learning there is a whole tight circuit of magic entertainers out there... Alexander is the first magician I have gotten to know well, but I also encountered a fellow UCSB graduate by the name of Jason Latimer, back in April of 2009 through Dr. Lawrence Krauss at the Origins Conference. Jason was proclaimed to be the World Champion of Magic, and at the time I didn't know the significance of this "title;" it sounded a little to glorified for me especially upon first encounter with a guy who could exchange little balls in three cups at a fancy party in Arizona. I just visited Jason's website and now I understand better this entitlement, and how he is blending academics, technological innovation with psychological illusion. Jason's work is at the cutting edge of BOTH the science, technology, and art of magic. Jason's the same age as I am and he's built an entire empire around himself! And so it goes with my accidental, strange encounters with magicians, eh? Random academic party in Arizona and a Rite Aid parking lot in my Riversidian hometown!

Before Alexander and I parted, he recruited me to videotape and edit his act at Pechanga this Saturday, and I was to call him the next day so we’d both confirm. It was like a reward was waiting for me after the stint with the 30-second rock crab video to Duke. He flat out told me that he admired my sense of enthusiasm, my energy, and excitement. And me? I sensed his knowingness… and his trust. He was not someone who talked the talk. He walked the walk.

When I drove home to pick up my black bag full of rock crab footage (you'd think it was full of a million dollars stolen from a bank, from the outside looks of it), I couldn’t help thinking how glad I was to keep all the “Roadtrip Nation” orange paint on my car. This interaction was by far the best conversation ever started with my roadtrip nation signage. Over the year, I had thousands of strange looks but only two people approached me and asked what exactly Roadtrip Nation was… but this is the first time Roadtrip Nation led to new friendship and even a job-line on my resume! I have my mom and a few fisherman friends on my case to get all the painting off the car, but now they have to think twice about giving me such kind of advice. I probably wouldn’t have met Alexander otherwise!

I am really glad that Randomness happened. It happened at the right time. I was also prepared to see Randomness—I was in a groovy film-making mode. I was in the “change your life, until your life changes” mode, even if it’s as subtle as making a new friend. But then again, who said making friends is a subtle process? The whole experience felt like a Michel Gondry Moment (MGM). I like to call them Michel Gondry moments, the whole pursuit of finding the magic of humanity in the cold and ordinary, always with a pinch of surrealistic mysteriousness…. Heck, it was midnight! Recently I had been taking photographs of “famous people,” including Gondry himself (also Malcolm Gladwell and Barbara Kingsolver). I look at those pictures, and I felt a sense of impersonality and distancing. I felt that my assumed role was just another body count to purchase and consume their books and movies. And that is why I felt like an unwelcomed "paparazzi" rather than a welcomed “photographer.” I look at the photographs above of The Great Raguzi and his sidekick Ron The Voice Jackson, and I feel warmth and love, and that I was embraced as a human and a part of a production team, and that means a lot to me, especially after this string of encounters that embodied alienation….

This interaction all happened amidst my 30 second rock crab film frenzy. I started to realize that editing my film footage is my cocaine, my crystal meth, my ultimate high. I’m an editor addict. When I start, I don’t stop. I don’t eat, I don’t sleep until I finally finish my film that I intend to create. When I was swiftly editing away into the wee hours of the night this rock crab film, I was thinking that this society makes film production such a BIG DEAL, and that for me, film editing is so easy and intuitive that I perceive the process as a sequential arrangement of moving photographs (which I did before I was actually filming, making arrangements of photographs to tell stories). At one point I felt like I was mindlessly arranging flowers blowing in the field… and ANYONE can arrange flowers… at least in my mind. Then again, I have to remind myself I’m a freak. I’m a right-brained, left-handed person in a largely left-brained world.

So, Friday night after my rock crab film frenzy, I called Alexander around 11:40 pm and said I can do it. And the next morning he gave me some general logistics… I was supposed to look for Timmy D at the casino. And through this conversation, I learned the concept of negotiating price. I gave Alexander two prices. The bare minimum student price for labor and products, and the bare minimum stipend appreciation price because I really want to do this, and this is partly an experiment and a training session so we can feel each other out, and I can gain something on my resume. I told him, “I’m stating two prices because I want to show you that I don’t want money to be an issue. I want a token of appreciation for my effort, but I really want to film your magic show and I don’t want price to be much concern.” And Alexander and I were both fair to each other. I received the stipend appreciation price (plus a tip and a coffee!!!) divided into initial halfway payment then final payment upon delivery of the goods. And later on Alexander said he would be prepared to write me into the budget so I’ll be properly paid! I’m glad that I was able to be upfront about this issue. I myself have a hard time discussing price, especially as an artist who wants to be inspired, not motivated to make money (but money is a matter of survival, the money is used to keep my visceral components alive so I can do art). My visceral self (my agent, my bulldog manager) is negotiating the contract and my artistic self is in performance.

I watched my fishermen friends Ernie and Jules in operation in terms of price and negotiation. Ernie and Jules are two people who love their jobs. Their profession is 50% work and 50% hobby, adventure, and pure fun. But they have to have this visceral side to them where money has to be upfront such that they can sustain their work, their fun, their adventurous livelihood. Ernie strategizes to have people pay right before the boat takes off on the sportfishing trip, so that the business side is over and done, and then it’s all about having fun! Jules keeps close tabs of his receipts, and he acts as a distributor of seafood, which eliminates some of his reliance on middlemen. It’s amazing I have learned so much about the psychology of business just by watching my fellow fishermen interacting with their customers. I would have never learned this through school. I would have had to see independent businessmen in action.

On Saturday, April 10, 2010, I drove down to Temecula from Riverside and showed up to Pechanga around 12:15. There was some bizarre freeway traffic before the entrance (probably a bunch of wine snob tourists) and I had a hard time finding the showroom. Alexander accidentally told me I was supposed to be at the “ballroom,” not the showroom… but that was straightened out fairly quickly. The ballroom was bizarrely empty. No one was around for some corporate Survivor’s meeting.

My walking through Pechanga Casino was a strange, novel experience. It was the first time I entered a smoke-filled, flashy casino in CALIFORNIA. I mean, it was a classic Nevadan, Las Vegas experience, except I was in California! My brain was not used to such displacement. Everything in Pechanga was neat and straight and looking brand new, the usual fantastic flashiness of Vegas. Lots of employees, lots of customers, lots of business. I passed by hundreds of people dribbling away their money to slot machines, as if they were playing to dream, playing, losing money in order to win a dream. Gambling felt like a displacement for hard work, for earning your money. I felt it was a place where the value of the dollar was completely lost… but then the casino makes so much money that they could afford a fancy-super amazing, professional showroom that holds really big gigs, ranging from Jerry Seinfeld to David Copperfield to Jamie Fox to the Gypsy Kings to many many more! So, other people waste away their money to win their dreams while some of this money is displaced to the world’s top entertainment! I don’t think that’s a bad thing… partly…

The Pechanga Showroom was extremely high-end professional. Everyone there had their place and if one person screwed up with their job, everyone screwed up and looked bad. Everything was super-organized. And for some reason, when I was walking around, I felt embarrassed for not knowing who was doing what and why, and I felt I needed some kind of stage production course or at least some one-hour training session so I felt more comfortable knowing everyone’s places and operations. Professionality was of essence especially when I saw all the posters of the big names in the backstage area. I told Alexander I was back stage at the Arizona State University arena, in which I sensed professionalism in the production of the Origins conference, but I didn’t feel that same wired tension of “if you screw up, you’re screwed.” The operation felt like there was room for glitches, and it didn’t even matter if you did mess up. The university is a place where mistakes are partly welcome. That's how you accidentally discover new things!

I signed in and received a cloth sticker from the police officer, stating that I was legit. I could tell that this officer and a few others who worked at Pechanga held some Native American blood in them; you could see it in the structure of their faces, the darker tone of their skin. It was cool. I finally hunted down Timmy D and Alexander and met his sidekick Ron “The Voice” Jackson, who was a professional heavyweight boxer (?) in the past. Alexander and Ron look like two peas in a pod. I had to borrow a monopod for my camera (good thing I did because it’s hard to do good hand-held work when shooting at a distance). It turned out that my clothes were a problem—I was wearing a nice shirt and nice shorts—but I didn’t know I had to be in uniform. Production crew was supposed to wear black: black shirt and black pants… and I myself was an eyesore. I was a white sheep. Ooops. Alexander didn’t know either. But we resolved the problem. I borrowed Timmy D’s production shirt and I blended in with the crew afterwards. Now I know for future reference. Crew are men (and chickas) in black. I explained to Timmy D that I’m used to doing film work on boats and in the field, so I didn’t know that there was a standard dress code.

After getting used to the fancy arena and stage area, I spoke with the audiovisual director to make sure where I can and can’t be, to make sure I’m not stepping on his toes or the production’s toes, as well as not being a nuisance to the audience. The director also gave me an overview of the show, in order to know what to expect (a little bit), which helped me in filming. Pechanga tapes all shows sometimes for commercial purposes, but mostly archives the tapes more so for legal purposes because in Power Player, a contestant could possibly win a million dollars! It turned out that I could be in the “front area” and the front sides, but these areas (especially the front) were largely horrible shots and I ended up finding a niche in the very back, toward the middle (with slight angles), such that I didn’t interfere with the audience whatsoever.

As the show started, I was thinking of a way on how I was going to retrieve multiple angles (as I am a one-camera girl). I retrieved establisher shots of (1) the stage area (2) the audience (3) the band (all distant and close-up). During each act, I stayed put in one area and largely filmed The Great Raguzi at full-body or ¾ body. I began to realize that magic on film would only work if you film it continuously—to make the magic tricks believable. I couldn’t create shot diversity within acts, but among acts. In between magic acts, I transferred my position to get a new angle. As Raguzi was marching through several acts, from Act of Lights and Doves, to Act of Ropes, Act of Flags, Act of Handkerchiefs and Knots, Act of the Guillotine, and Act of Cards with the Snake… I started to notice how smooth, professional, and modest Raguzi was, especially in his suit with a jacket of long coat tails! Most magicians are very fast and jazzy and showy, but Raguzi present himself as “this is who I am and this is what I do, and can you figure me out?”

I could say that the Act of Knots was most impressive because Raguzi chose the most superb audience member who was totally jiving with the tricks and the show in general. This kid looked like a stage performer himself! I retrieved the best footage for this act! I had one technical difficulty in my part, but I managed to adjust in just enough time. The brightness and contrast was a huge issue due to the spotlight effect on Raguzi, and I ended up having to adjust shutter speed, and since that moment all of the film came out in full quality…. All of the acts were choreographed to superb music, much like Jason Latimer’s shows, and it was a very cool, and classy assemblage of music, ranging from classical to jazz to modern Cirque de Soleil soundtracks.

Before I knew it, the show was done, and I rushed back stage to meet up with Alexander and Ron. We “cooled down” and talked much more. I ended up taking some phiotographs of Alexander and Ron and the doves and not only that, we reviewed the video footage and did on-the-spot editing. That was an excellent move in my part. It’s so important to review and reflect upon the footage right away! The audio was superb with my Seinhausser! About an hour later, I left the stage very happy, and so was the great Raguzi: “We need to take good care of this girl!”

It took a while for me to wind down after what happened. To shut out my state of being stunned and exhausted, I ended up calling three or four people, and my friend Connie called me for a photography gig at her wedding this summer! My golly! What fun! Finally, around sunset, I mozied over to a 24-7 Kinkos (Fedex Office) off of Winchester (it’s a wonderful Kinkos, nice and big and lots of space), and I went straight to downloading footage and photographs, marking the best footage, and editing the necessary and needed and most aesthetic. I knew that emotions and creativity were spontaneous creatures (or beasts) inside of me and all of us humans, and that I had to feed off of the emotional recency. Otherwise, this project would become another buried piece of material that would be difficult to unearth. Sitting on this project was NOT an option.

And I suppose in this brief window of time, which ended up being around 10 hours, I learned the most about myself. I learned about my workflow in photographic and video editing. How fast I was able to sort and edit and compile and make a final product. In total, I think it was a 12-hour photo-video editing and uploading gig. I really felt in this round of video work, I was learning the most about myself. I was creating an optimized, orderly workflow for myself, such that if any future client off the street wanted video work, I could create a neat operation. Any possible way to get a few gigs every once in a while to have a little bit of income and keep the student loans down to a minimum *gulp.* At first I felt vulnerable because I was thinking about how I needed to learn much more about Final Cut Pro, but I decided to make the best of what I knew at the time.

A brief review of my workflow process: (1) download all footage (2) arrange footage in nice, neat folders (3) reviewed the footage (4) place markers around the footage that I liked (like identifying the best photographs of the heap) (5) dissected the video footage to its elements (6) dissected the audio to its elements (7) mentally identified the best footage and recordings (8) took a step back and decided what elements to resynthesize into my own products based on (a) what the client wanted and (b) what I wanted to do (9) each new project got its own timeline in final cut pro. Footage and audio editing was to the extent of (1) some audio adjustments, when the recording was too soft or too loud, not in the range of -12 to -6 db (2) some video adjustments, cutting out shaky footage, changing the contrast when the footage was too bright and (3) added some cross-fade transitions (4) added some showy Livetype.

By the time I had the idea for the collage, it was around 3 am in the morning. My mind was still going through an adrenaline rush, but it had NO ABILITY to be exacting and precise. I retrieved all the best footage and barely managed to arrange it into a coherent 37-second collage that complimented Ron “The Voice” Jackson’s introduction to The Great Raguzi at the very beginning of the show. I sped up the timing of some acts in order for all footage to fit as well as make sure that the Guillotine Act was well-timed. I called this timeline a “Pizza Collage” because I was so mentally out of it I was essentially assembling material in a state of subconsciousness. I could not precisely correlate the video and audio such that it could have a form of music beat to it—which is what I would have done if I saved the project for the next morning, but I had no time to procrastinate. Procrastination was not an option with this project.

By the time everything was done, and I was packing up, it was 4:30 am. Just me and one worker at the Kinkos. I drove home happy and had a fake white caramel powder coffee drink from Shell for “dinner” and by the time I reached home in Riverside the sky was turning from dark to dusk. My parents were already awake when I came home, and I crashed for three hours on my sister’s bed. I woke up at 9 and started working on downloading the footage on Youtube and burning DVDs for Alexander and Ron. It took a while for me to upload four videos because of several snafoos (1) I had to create an extra email to create an account for “TheGreatRaguziMagic” (2) Youtube was not uploading some of the larger-sized “mov” files (3) there was a music copyright issue with the Act of Flags that Youtube detected right away! I can’t believe it! That unfortunately took another three hours of my life. Maybe I worked longer than 12 hours. More so 16 hours… a full day of editing life on a total high.

(Called Bob) I then finished stuff, went jogging around 3pm. I met up with Alexander at Starbucks Canyon Crest around 4pm when I told him over the phone “I’ve got the goods!” I show ed Alexander the work and it turned out that he REALLY LIKED the short collage I made! Alexander was so happy with the collage that he said he would use it for part of his Magic Act Reel. What an honor, a compliment! As a magician who is in the business of being astonished, my work has managed to astonish the magician, Raguzi! Pro bonus for my resume and one of the most interesting compliments I have ever received. I may work with Alexander next weekend for a prom, but there might be a conflict with work back up at UC Santa Barbara.

After the business part of our discussion, I ended up showing him my new 30-second rock crab film (30.08 second rock crab film) to Alexander and he was impressed with the diversity of footage (it took a long time to collect… over 9 weeks in the summer of 2007!) as I explained to him what price transparency was and Gwaz’ ingenius environmental advertising idea. Then we had fun talking about photography. Alexander showed me his relatively new Canon Rebel SLR camera with two very nice lenses. That camera was very nice. I really enjoy the colors and the sharpness of the images that the camera was producing. Maybe my next “real” camera will be a Canon. I’m not sure… it’s a long way from now. Alexander was considering in taking a photography course through a camera store, but I offered to take him out for free and expose him to the basic elements of composition. And a final cherry on top—I was taught my first magic trick of “misdirection” with two pennies. He was thinking of using me for a levitation trick and I told him I loved lights, plasma lamps, lava lamps and such.

We parted in our separate ways, with both of us feeling good. “Change your life, until your life changes,” Barry Spacks’ voice whispered in my head, and I think both of us walked away feeling changed, even just a little bit. The initial randomness at the midnight conversation in a Rite Aid parking lot didn’t seem so random after all. As Alexander says, “We are here for a purpose… it was meant to be….”

It’s interesting to explore human relationships that are partly professional and partly fun and friendship. I am learning how to balance both. I think this whole experience has made me realize how personality-driven I am in terms of meeting people. I am more intrigued by personalities and outlooks to life than by people’s content. So it goes to show I don’t hang out much with graduate students at UC Santa Barbara. I think I’m at a phase in my life where it doesn’t really matter what discipline you are. If you have an optimistic, unique outlook to life and an original assemblage of skills and knowledge—it doesn’t matter what job you have or discipline you are in—I will most likely be your good friend.

So it goes to say I never thought I would be involved in “magic.” I think the pursuit of science and advancing knowledge is the process of demystifying the magic and mystery and mythology… and such is the long-term relationship between science and mythology anyway… from the mystical and supernatural and unexplained shifted to the scientific and mechanical understandings of the world…. It’s hard to for my head to wrap around the question, “Where does magic fit in my life?” For me I find that sense of “magic” in myself when I go through that adrenaline rush of losing myself in the activity of creative film editing, as well as the magic of mind in attempting to explore and de-mystify human-environmental relationships.

And then I came to realize that the The Great Raguzi’s mindset is not magical or mystical whatsoever. Magicians are not mythological shamans who have a supernatural understanding of the world. In fact, Raguzi has mechanically and artfully learned how to create the “magical experience” for the unknowing audience. Magicians are very exacting, precise people who have a blend of knowledge in science and art. They are people who know how to precisely, mechanically manipulate objects and subjects such as to (1) astonish people, (2) fool and deceive people, and (3) essentially screw around with people’s heads. In all honesty, I think magicians are essentially the professional and legal versions of cheating and breaking the rules of human perception…. They have found loopholes in our mind’s construction of reality…. Something like politicians and boards of directors on megacorporations (they’re very good at disappearing and re-appearing-in-other-places acts), except they’re actually entertaining. Coming to think, you have to be a very sophisticated person, and very talented person to pursue the construction of magic as a career. I feel like Raguzi is a fascinating character who just stepped out of the documentary Fast, Cheap, and Out of Control, by Errol Morris.

I think I can learn a lot from Alexander’s… or Raguzi’s… perspective... this intention to astonish and screw around with people’s heads. These are my intentions when I edit my films: (1) to expect the unexpected and (2) to mess with people’s heads with existing ways of reality. But in my case of exploring coupled human-environmental systems, my magic tricks don’t involve handkerchiefs and decks of cards. They are about human-environmental problems… they are political and scientific problems. And this is where I see the bridge of Raguzi’s magic into my life… we have the same intentions, but I need to learn how to metaphorically overlay his tricks with the real-world tricks of human-environmental change. As Alexander said, he was willing to perform a fish magic trick for my Fish-in-a-Box film.

Besides learning magic tricks, I’m sure I can learn so much about stage production and tactics of mainstream entertainment…. It’s been a beautiful few days, two people with different roads in life have an unlikely encounter and develop a friendship…. And yes indeed, it’s a game of paying it forward; these have been Michel Gondry Moments, making the extraordinary out of the ordinary… like reality has its own magic… only if you choose to see it.

498. Annals of "Anatomy of The Bad Day Syndrome".... Pardon the Navel Gazing, but Everyone Has a Right to Vent! (Let's Start with Medical Drama!)

Even though I am at the celebration of the 500-mark for blogs (geez-louise! a symbol of being a writer addict, I suppose), I still have yet a blog devoted to the Anatomy of the Bad Day Syndrome... though I do have plenty of those during the quarter system, and honestly, I think everyone has them many of the times. So finally, I have a blog here, here... devoted to documentation of very bad days.... The goal is to collect masses and masses of data on bad days and devise some underlying theories as to why "bad days are defined as bad days."

These are my preliminary theories as to why "bad days are bad days." In short, "Something unexpected happened, it directly affected you, and things didn't go your way."

(1). Something unexpected happens in a day full of pre-determined plans, and you have not enough time, space, energy, and resources to adapt to this unexpectation even though you are on some form of time deadline. The result of unexpectedness lead to a perceived negative impact in your life.

(2). You are experiencing pain (physical and/or metaphysical, expected and/or unexpected), and you have to drop everything that you are doing in order to address that pain.

(3). You are forced to expose to your advisor/peers "all the things you are going to do for the quarter," and then you wonder whether you are actually going to DO them, and you feel like a hypocrite (The story of my life the last four years, eh? I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THAT). I'm only happy showing people my TO-DONE LIST (or my finished project), rather than a TO-DO LIST (grant).

(4). Cars and traffic.
(4a). You get a parking ticket. By default... very very VERY... bad day.
(4b). You struggle with trying to find a parking spot for more than one hour of your life in any particular day (like in Los Angeles).
(4c). You struggle trying to get from Point A to Point B in southern California, and your mind is so numb from sitting in traffic for 2+ hours that you don't even know anymore that you are having a bad day.
(4c). Your car has a break-down at an unexpected place and time.

(5). Your computer (or other human-made gadget that you do not have enough knowledge to fix and control, like a copy machine) establishes a mind of its own, and acts at its own will, with great stubbornness.

(6). You throw off your routine metabolisms with (a) food (b) exercise (c) sleep (ignitions, sparks, to larger conflagrations, most of the time).

(7). You are feeling so overwhelmed with information, that you become paralyzed in mental and physical function, you can't move, and the only solutions are either (1) psychiatric (Ridlin, Prozac, etcetera) or (2) behavioral-environmental (change environment, "Screw you guys, I'm going home", go on leave of absence from school). Which is my state of mind right now.

(8). Some one close and dear to you is having a bad day (family, friends), and therefore they do the great service of dragging you down along with him or her (though you do drop all your stuff and obligations, and try to help them!).

**I'm sure I will keep accruing more liners for this list... at least TEN! There has to be at least TEN!

July 31, 2010 ~ The last 2-3 days have been psychologically brutal because ever since my exposure to Comic-con (at least ... and my personal epiphanies since this exposure), I have come to realize that my masterpiece of personal failure can be an ultimate masterpiece of complete success, when transferred to a different storytelling medium. Question Reality is a partially illustrated long-long-long story... Question Reality to an Ecopistemology graphic novel will become a conceptual, metaphysical exploration of the University Universe and human-environment relationships, from a conceptual level. Failure in one world leads to perceived complete success in another... and since this epiphany, I have come to feel like shxt because all these ideas (cartoon ideas, especially) that I left dormant inside me have just been pouring and barfing and pouring out, almost uncontrollably... and throughout the course of the last week, the most important thing I need right now is to get far away from the university, and cut strings attached for at least two quarters and a summer. Because I'm tired of being victim of Bad Day situation #3, how I always want to do things, but I'm strangled with distraction and never get anything done to my own personal satisfaction. Huh, Michel? Michel Gondry's first premise (or one of his firsts) are to START your project and FINISH what you have started. I'm tired, tired, tired of sitting on top of rubble!

So, what I did last night was sit down with Jules and compile all my thoughts and feelings about my aggregated pains and feelings about the subject and the need for leave of absence.... I wrote it down on a piece of paper, so that I don't think about it anymore, or if I have another idea, I place it there, and I talked with my father about it again... the joke, the cartoon becomes true... either the university, or the mental institute, or going home.... I had to explain to Jules a little bit of extra so he can understand why it has to be "medical" leave of absence, and not the other items on the graduate division form. One way or another, discussing this with my father and Jules has been painful process; my brain doesn't feel good... the feeling of heavy chains, I do say.... But one of the final things that I wrote on this special paper was... "Don't think about things that you don't have control over." Everyone is doing their own thing over the summer, so it's impossible to talk about the logistics of this move. After speaking with Oran, I think he will be understanding of this situation, but the main strategy for me is, "I will be on leave of absence, but everything I will be doing will be toward the Ph.D, except that I do not want to talk to anyone or think of anything of the university at this point."

July 31, 2010 (SchoolYear 2009-2010) ~ I'm not understanding why my brain is so hyperactive at this point. All these ghost memories of the past years are sprouting up in the landscapes when I drove by. I spent a week in Santa Barbara that I did not want to spend--I did not want to be there, period. I have been avoiding the place, despite its inherent beauty... the sorrow and the chains come from graduate school. And just a simple little thing... very simple... Wednesday morning I go to the skin doctor at UCSB Student Health, with Dr. Bagalio, and she gives me the low-down about my skin. I have accrued a series of discolorations (light-skinned blotches), but they are not going away. We discussed where they may have come from.... And then I theorized how they couldn't have been pimples, and most likely they are spider bites, because I live in three houses that are infested with spiders that replicate prolifically and don't pay rent (to our impoverished chagrin). But these scars have been there for so long! Dr. Bagalio discussed the presence of scars, light and dark blotches, sunspots, moles, freckles, is just a product of living a long time, and that's a normal process. The only times when I should be concerned are (1) when a blotch or mole grows and changes very fast over a short period of time and (2) if the blotch or pimple remains an open-wound. I looked at the gory Google Image pictures of melanoma and other forms of skin cancer, and then I realized... I seriously have nothing to worry about. I feel a lot more relieved about my skin spots, and apparently one of the "dark spots" I had on my skin peeled off today, how strange! Before this appointment, I had an interesting conversation with a nurse who was gathering my "vital signs" aka "temperature, blood pressure, pulse, weight, and date of last period (for those female)." I told her how marine scientists are trying to figure out the "vital signs" or state of health of the ocean, in a hierarchical way, like five major measurements can lead to other forms of more detailed analyses *Sigh*

After reading this (if anyone does read this, ha ha), you'd think, awww... what is Victoria complaining about, a BENIGN experience at the UCSB Student Health Clinic! What is this girl in a panic about? Well, it's more so, how I have been mowed over the LAST YEAR! I have visited Student Health about 5-6 times the last year, completely unaccounted for... bad days, eh? Ya... For example, most recently I had an epic root canal done by Dr. Montgomery (I was in a dental chair for six hours total! and I crafted a piece of music in my head in the process). And before that, was a string of sporadic visits for various reasons... like a visit to deal with a foot fungal infection (bottom left foot only) with Dr. Sumner (I had to get a couple of creams, it was quick, dirty, boring meeting), the annual physical and pap smear (with Dr. Greenwald) as presently I have a regularly irregular period (e.g. I have 3/4 period for three days, and then a week later, I have the last 1/4 of the period), a quick visit with a nurse because I had skin blisters due to an infection from a band-aid (getting infected through the treatment, as usual, eh?), and then I had an epic "surgery" and my first set of stitches on my head, working with Dr. Myra Howard. I could call that an unusual, day, potentially a "bad" day because I didn't know what to expect.




So the story goes, over the past year, I had discovered two moles on my head that I had never known about. The worst part is that the moles were rather huge and deep rooted. It's bizarre that these moles existed because they were buried in a very heavy set of hair. You'd think that moles would develop in regions of high sun exposure. I remember being fully conscious of them when I was traveling across Oregon flatlands on the 5 freeway and I had a long lecture from my sister Jenny on the phone and she was describing to me the warning signs of a malignant mole: Is it larger or smaller than 6mm? Is it asymmetrical or symmetrical? Does it have clear or vague borders? And does it consist of one color or two colors? Dr. Myra Howard (a rather pudgy, but a very hilarious, spunky doctor) was not too concerned, but since these moles were on my HEAD, and that they were rather voluminuous, I wanted them removed. "You're giving yourself a Christmas present! You are taking care of yourself!" Dr. Howard exclaimed, and yes I was. It was rather early in the morning I ventured to the doctor's office, and Dr. Howard and her assistant were in very chipper, entertaining moods. Dr. Howard explained how she had this device that was going to create little holes in my head as if we were creating little holes for golf balls to fall in at golf courses (like what Bill Murray was going in Caddyshack).

And instead of being some kind of woosy academic who couldn't stand blood and guts (like a previous history major she had), I ended up asking Dr. Howard tons of questions about what she was doing and how she was proceeding, and why (I'm always curious... I always look at my life as some form of scientific experiment, including the uncontrollable operations of my own body)... and honestly she and her assistant appreciated me as I appreciated them, and we were so into the whole surgery (I mean, we were having fun!) that Dr. Howard's assistant took pictures and video of my surgery on my cell phone (see above!), just so we could document and I had a visual keepsake of my Christmas present to myself, and I could see what the hxck they were doing. Even though the skin punctures were fairly small, my hair was a bloody mess (also full of antiseptic and anti-bacterial fluids) I didn't touch my hair (for considering in washing it) until a week later... so of course, I loyally wore my beanie for quite a while so that folks at school did not see the surgical mess.

I wish I recorded the experience on the spot, because the three of us in this surgery were a comedy routine, and we had great fun.... A week later, I visited Dr. Howard so she could remove the stitches, and contrastingly she was quite sullen, and stated that she (of all people) was suffering from depression, and based on our experiences last week, that seemed to make no sense. I think that was the third time I visited Dr. Howard (I saw her one time during the 2008-2009 school year). It is the most wonderful, most pleasant experience to be caught in the middle of an in situ, impromptu comedy routine. I do indeed, cherish this moment, rare moments like these, indeed. So, in short, the ANTICIPATION of the surgery marked the notion of "bad day," but after the surgery was over, I think I handled the day much better, such that all "unknowns" were erased from my head.

436. An Additional Disclaimer Will Eventually Need to be Added to "The Curious Case of Lobster Trap Escape Ports"

Disclaimer Slide #1.

Social Networking Disclaimer Slide #2.

After several discussions with quite a few academics and media professionals, I was encouraged to further elaborate the film in terms of the California Department of Fish and Games' response and potentially fishermen discourse with the DFG. These two slides ultimately "bound the system" of the film and will prevent any runaway Lonelygirl15 soap opera happening with a "Bump in the Wire."

433. Roadtrip Nation: Continuing the Journey of Self-Construction Over Mass-Production

Picasaweb Caption: Yesterday Shannon Switzer and I (Vic, just look me up as "Stokastika" ha ha) went to visit Kristin Esteves, the Coordinator for Indie Roadtrips, and we had the most wonderful conversation! Shannon and I are interested in careers at the intersection of science and society, more so science-art-society in terms of linking knowledge with inspiration and human-environmental change. We want to find out "who are the people who are willing to do something different at the interface of science and society? Who are the new generation of scientists who are willing to connect the dots in any way possible to solve real-world problems, despite the modern, constricting conventions of academia?" Shannon and I are on our way to applying for an Indie Roadtrip with the guide of Kristin, and I guess a starting point is to have a picasaweb photoalbum. So far, I'm showcasing a collection of really cool Roadtrip Nation stickers... but I'm sure the photoset will keep expanding....

"Wow! This has been very inspirational!" I exclaimed to Kristin Esteves (Roadtrip Nation, http://roadtripnation.com), and Shannon Switzer, (Aquasoul Shannon, International League of Conservation Photographers, http://aquasoulphotography.smugmug.com/), "I really wished we just filmed our conversation right now! Maybe we can do a retake!" We all laughed. Shannon and I went out of our way to meet Kristin, the manager of the Indie Roadtrip Division of Roadtrip Nations, in Costa Mesa, California, and we emerged from their cozy, non-cubicle-super-comfy production company at the edge of an obscure road (perhaps 5 miles or so from the nearest beach) filled with hope and big dreams.

Randomness can sometimes converge into coherent order.

Let's see, where to start. First of all, I heard about Roadtrip Nation indirectly, through my parents watching PBS, and I was jealous of the three dudes who went on a bus all across the country (in which I had the privilege of being introduced to one of them today, I met a celebrity!) to meet a bunch of really cool, creative, intelligent people who have ultimately constructed their own roads to life. Roadtrip Nation was a line on my computer and occupying a dimly lit neuron in the back of my head until... I encountered that big green bus in the middle of the lawn between two high-traffic bikepaths at UCSB! It was fall quarter of 2008 and I just returned to graduate school. I was fairly depressed about my situation in life--starting from scrap again after transferring through three different graduate schools, having a very rocky relationship with one of my advisors, getting trashed by a guy who has the ability to emotionally sever himself from close to anything within a few minutes, lack of new friends... the list goes on.... And here was this massive, flaming green RV bus right in front of me! Boy, was I excited and dreams started to whirl in my head. I was informed by the Roadies that Roadtrip Nation was based in Costa Mesa, California, and I tweaked my head in surprise, "Huh! You're local!" About two-point-five hours from UCSB. That was WONDERFUL!

I took two or three cards with them, and I kept dreaming about how I wanted to interview people at the interface of science and society; people's whose feet have dug deep into the realm of science, but have felt compelled to translate the stories and adventure of science into creative products, from narratives to art... such as to inspire and educate the public... as well as move a few chess pieces in the political realm. Well, back them, with a swirling brain and no one really to talk to and share ideas with... these ideas remained largely dormant inside me.

In early November of the same quarter, I was filming the strangely bizarre artwork of Scott Chatenever (engineer-gone-artist) who creates ceramic pieces that almost look like real life. Many people are often fooled as to whether it is a real coral reef or a piece of art. He had been greatly inspired by chaos theory... or the leftovers of the engineering equations... and how the chaos element of the equation ultimately has its own order. I hung out with Scott on Santa Barbara's First Thursdays Artswalk, and in the wee hours of the night I had my fill. I was walking down the street in a total slump (the day had been tremendously overwhelming), and someone calls my name. It was Scott Bull, head of UCSB's Coastal Fund and President of Santa Barbara Surfrider. Scott had this promotional art-surfing-ocean event held at a very cool jewerly shop downtown for Surfrider and he wanted me to film it. 100 bucks. I was so so... SOOO tired... but I managed to still pull it off and do it. Of all things, I was carrying my film camera with me. Talk about being at the right place, right time. It ended that Oscar Flores (my friend) edited this film and I had to pay him $100 out of my own word and I lost out in nearly all dimensions for being over-committed... except for one thing. At the very end of the Surfrider Ocean event, I met some very friendly, blond-headed girl through Scott Chatenever. Her name was Shannon. She told me that she graduated from UCSB in biology and environmental studies. Shannon was seriously involved in photography, and that she was currently interning at the Santa Barbara Independent weekly magazine. I kept her card and didn't think much of the encounter for at least a month or so... well... you can't blame me... because my grandfather passed away, and I essentially gave the finger and any other possible f*you to the whole world, as I hid and was by myself for most of the entire month. Then I happened to pick up the Santa Barbara Independent sometime in early January... and on the VERY FIRST PAGE was a picture of Shannon! Apparently she wrote a few blurbs in the magazine and had an opportunity to interview Jean-Michel Cousteau.

In the beginning of winter quarter, I called up Shannon and we eventually met... along with several social events... from birthday parties to an informal screening of Sharkwater. It was a lot of fun. I had tried to start a group that was exploring the interface of science and art, and Shannon constructed a strategic name called "Woven Atom," which visually could mean the notion of "synthesis" at any scale, except most importantly, there were absolutely no negative or cliche associations with the term, and I thought it would be a perfect name for a group. Shannon, Lydia, Becca, and I started meeting once a week or once every other week, and we had an opportunity to discuss issue at the interface of science, art, and collective change. After a quarter of realizing I was not getting my work done for my Ph.D. I came to the conclusion that starting a group right now was not a very intelligent thing to do... and so I have become more reclusive as of late. It is my fault and my failure, but I am hoping that when the time is right, a group such as this can be resurrected.

What was really cool during winter quarter is that during this time period I self-published a book of poetry called "CHESS: The Poetry of Human-Environmental Change" and that Shannon was accepted into the International League of Conservation Photographers (she happened to meet the Director of the League at a Photography show in Las Vegas, Shannon is encouraging me to join... and I AM working on improving my portfolio!).

Shannon returned to Oceanside (her hometown), and I myself have met some wonderful, inspirational fishermen through my job as an objective note-taker for the Fisheries Information Network (FIN), which is now leading me to spending quite a few weekends in the San Diego / southern California area. Shannon and I have kept in touch. We are so like-minded in our vision for our future and our level of determination to succeed, despite the distance... it would be a great loss for the both of us if we didn't maintain contact... and eventually... serious (or seriously fun) collaboration. Like right now.

At the end of March of 2009, I finally was determined to go visit in person Roadtrip Nation. I saw the website at http://www.roadtripnation.com/, and it was very vibrant and encouraging, but there was no human flesh behind the pixels on the screen. I needed to see reality for myself. I discovered the address and phone number through Googlemaps: Roadtrip Nation. 760 Newton Way, Costa Mesa, CA, 92627, 949-764-9121. I was really excited to discover a production company that was OUTSIDE of Los Angeles (the Central Casting experience was a bit much for me). I was absolutely mortified to show up at the end of an obscure street full of sleepy businesses and perhaps even some car repair centers... only to find a segment of a building/warehouse that had this... nonprofit look. Roadtrip Nation's interior walls were coated with trendy collages and inspirational quotes, as well as an ancient massive green RV that now serves as an office, a fairly large "collective meeting space" that was filled with couches, a production room (where several computer were being used to edit films), and a hallway with a few collectively shared offices. It was as snuggly and as anti-corporate you could ever imagine! Amen, I found a College of Creative Studies (CCS) Mecca OUTSIDE of CCS. The fundamental mottos for Roadtrip Nation were "Define your own road to life." and "Self-construction over mass production." Personally, these kinds of philosophies are so compatible to my own that I could be won over through these concepts... but I still had to meet the people behind the scenes. In the first trip I met a lady at the front desk who was a bit harsh with me, but it turned out that I think she was having a bad day because the second time she met me, she was very kind and enthusiastic... and stated that she remembered me! Eventually, this team member transferred me to Luke, because I wasn't exactly sure about the programmng and exact opportunities at Roadtrip Nation. It turns out there are three main pathways: (1) applying for the PBS production of Roadtrip Nation in front of the camera (2) applying for the PBS production of Roadtrip Nation behind the camera and off-season / highschool education division (internship), and (3) applying to the Indie Roadtrip grant process, either as a film-maker or blogger/photographer. I was interviewed by Luke for the potentiality of becoming an intern, but then I told Shannon about the opportunity, and since we are both struggling to be in the realm of science, art, and society--on the same road to life, but oblivious to the opportunities out in the world after we receive our graduate degrees--we've been bubbling and oozing over the phone about how we could collaborate this summer and apply for an Indie Roadtrip.

About two weeks ago, Shannon and I attempted to speak with Kristin at Roadtrip Nation... through a random drop-by (it was a crazy day because I was stuck in bad traffic, Shannon was on three hours of sleep, and it was her last day of moving from Santa Barbara to Oceanside), but we found out that Kristin was frolicking around by her bravesoulonesome in London, engaged in her own Indie Roadtrip! At least Shannon found the place and became familiarized with the season. The second time I visited the production company, my level of comfort and familiarity started to grow... especially with the privilege of sharing my discovery with Shannon.

And finally, I sent an email to Kristin... and to my surprise, I found a very friendly, encouraging email in return (I am only saying this was a "surprise" because I have met a bunch of religious cult weirdo freak rejectionists in my short stint exploring the tar pit swallowing jungle of Hollywood). We were about to set up an appointment... and low and behold... all elements converged today with much success!

Shannon and I showed up a little after one (I was a bit antsy because I hadn't jogged yet), and Kristin was just about rappng up her relaxing lunch. Kristin has this wonderful gestalt personna about her... and in my ghost reference head... she reminds me very much of this super intelligent geology graduate student I used to hang out with at UC Riverside--Jen Sabado, around 5'7" semi-dark skin, dark staight hair a bit beyond the shoulders, trendy-glasses, soothing, laid-back voice, fit-physique, "eloquent-physically-fit-trendy-geek-type"--so that aspect of my memory vamped up with my level of comfort. We had the opportunity to sit down and chat in a collective office for about an hour... and slowly started deriving mental maps of each other. Kristin Esteves was part of the first Roadies I believe back in 2005, and ever since then, she had stumbled upon several job opportunities within Roadtrip Nation. She loves her current job so much and she said it suited her well because through she graduated from Cal State Monterey, she still didn't know what she exactly wanted to do with her life. Though Kristin committed to an interesting Teaching-English-in-Prague type of job starting October, and she wouldn't have known of this opportunity if she hadn't been working with Roadtrip Nation. Kristin also has mastered her writing abilities through this job, and she can be proud to say that she is establishing herself as a writer (Sweet! That makes three of us in a single room). Shannon's been around the world... with an outside-the-box Africa research adventure (I saw lots of gorilla pix!), much more so than myself, in which my mother being Greek has forced our "traveling experiences" to be largely endemic to this single country in Europe.... It is an eye-opening adventure on its own, but largely frustrating because there are a few dozen more countries sitting there north of Greece, waiting to be sampled!

I guess the most crucial part of the conversation came when I started mentioning my history. I graduated in CCS Biology at UCSB blah blah blah, but I transfered to three different graduate schools... from UCLA to UCR and then back to my quasi-academic-liberal-environment of UC Santa Barbara in which my non-traditional undergraduate education really made me have a hard time dealing with a world outside that is designed to compartmentalize you into a very tiny box. The world overall does not welcome "globalist, interdisciplinary" thinking, and there are very few people out there who would be willing to take you under their wing and protect you... but you otherwise have to do your own legwork.... I told Kristin and Shannon that conventional science is short of solutions in terms of meaningful and widespread impact in human-environmental change, beside the mentioning of the academic "ivory tower effect." That is why I have become interested in the research and practice (outreach) of science and society. What is exactly "science" because the conventions of science have shifted over time? What is the role of science and society? The interface of science, media, policy, and public awareness/inspiration? What is the future of science? What is the future for scientists? What are they expected to know? How are they expected to behave? Are they to remain cut off from the world, or are they to play the game of being a stakeholder in the circus/arena of multi-disciplinary problem-solving? Who are the people who are constructing/pursuing innovative programming synthesizing science and art for human-environmental change? Why can science NOT be divorced from art? How come science HAS been divorced from art? (historian of science and art, Ernst Haeckel, etcetera). Why is there a divorce between collective learning and collective behavioral change (e.g. science and policy)? How can a scientist sit in front of a computer and crunch numbers all day (sever his rational thought from emotions) to make an obvious doomsday conclusion... rather than get out of his office and attempt to do something about the problem? And just because a university scientist testifies to Congress about a certain issue, why is this called "advocacy" and this is looked down upon? Weren't cavemen doing science? If you learn something new, you change behavior, individually or collectively! You just don't sit there and watch the sky fall or the house burn amidst the overgrown pine forest! As a graduate student, when I walk out from the university, what should I be expected to know and do? What types of jobs are available to me? How will the structure of society be like? Do they even exist? What are the tools scientist need to become responsible, interactive citizens of society? How come science is in the shush shush for careers? Why does it remain an elusive profession, especially when most of the world we live in has been shaped by the pursuit of science and engineering?

Well, there you go. 20 questions. Stuff I am willing to ask. And so I have discovered that "modern conventional science" is only a PART of the recipe to human-environmental change. What else does a scientist need to know to become a complete package deal?

Kristin and Shannon seemed very intrigued by these questions that I was asking, and the final major point that I made was that when you are a young student and have a clear vision (e.g. synthesis of science, art, and society), but the existing structure of society does not have doors open to you, do not have avenues or pathways... it's a very painful experience because essentially your sensical unbounded ideas are stuck in your head. Your personal vision of the future, the very structure of your mind does not match the structure of society. A very fundamental mismatch that makes society seem like a bunch of prison walls in nearly every direction. Perhaps creating a film can lead people to start thinking about things... and maybe creating a culture of science, a culture of change through film can start breaking down the prison walls and people may be intrigued to open doors and design new opportunities. It's a dangerous road to walk, but nevertheless exciting.

We live in a world of dichotomies... rationale-emotions, science-art, science-society, humans-environment... when this world fundamentally NEEDS synthesis.... Where do we go to find people who are willing to cross conventional boundaries and connect the dots in any way possible to solve real-world problems at the human-environment interface?

I suppose those are some of the fundamental themes Shannon and I will touch upon in our film.

I was thinking in the car on my way up to Costa Mesa from San Diego... "I am eager to be a scientist and remain a scientist, but I am not willing to sacrifice my expression of emotion for the pursuit of science. Emotion needs to be a part of the equation... of course within sensible balance. And there needs to be new ways for scientists to express their concerns... their emotions...."

Beyond that, Kristin, Shannon, and I started discussing some logistics... like formatting mini DV tapes all the way to sacrificing my stationwagon--painting it green--for the benefit of the film. Kristin seemed extremely excited about our ideas and our passions, and she also seemed very impressed that we made the effort to come visit her and overlay a friendly face and community of dreamers on top of a website that does not radiate emotion the same way how human interaction does.

There are several things that Shannon and I have not figured out yet. Will we be place-driven or people-driven? Who will be the bare minimum of three people we propose to interview? What part of the summer? Late July? Early August? So many things to think about! And this blog is just the beginning... collecting my thoughts into some level of narrative-like coherence. It's all ROUGH DRAFT!

Anyhow, Shannon and I left Kristin of Roadtrip Nations with big smiles, and we two UC Santa Barbarians went buzzing a bit afterwards on what our next steps were. It's amazing to think that I found a sounding board for my brain, a collaborator! My first self-deciding collaborative film, where my film camera and crew become a cohesive, coherent extention of myself--not an appendix or tonsils, but more so my lungs, an extra pair of reflexive eyes, and most importantly... my heart.

The world looks very beautiful today, because randomness has formed some degree of order. And it was all unexpected. We keep pursuing order, one day at a time, and even more wonderfully unexpected things shall happen!

This is the best possible internship I could have ever applied for... because our own creativity is the name of the game!

OTHER RANDOM THOUGHTS:
**science: abstract to practical, from esoterika to pervasive
**science-art-society: a new academic culture of change--"If Science is a Culture, then where will I find it?"
**creating a shot list, defining our style before we hit the road, what will be our universal "toy" that will symbolize a connecting of dots and building blocks....
**BUMPER STICKER: Bureaucracy. A Global Disease.
**Luke mentioned the film crew structure for Roadtrip Nation is very ORGANIC--order comes naturally, take it as it comes, pursue that keeps working, scrap what doesn't work, order emerges through retrospect
**Kristin mentioned how one day of traveling is like one week of living your usual, sedentary lifestyle.
**Why are things not changing rapidly? (1) Lack of catastrophe (unwilling change) (2) Lack of will power, motivation, consciousness (willing change) (3) Lack of technical knowledge--or self-pursued know-how (e.g. waiting for Toyota to crank out hybrids versus we tinker with our extra time to convert our very cars into electric vehicles, converting a power grid to solar-power panels through our own means) (4) We are too interdependent (crutching other aspects of society to produce products rather than being independent in technological pursuits)

Potential Route:
**Painted Green Subaru Legacy as Sacrificial Lamb for the summer
**Either a west-coast route or an east-coast route
**Be people-interview driven over place-driven

**Suggestions for people to interview, a starting point:
**Godfrey Reggio and Phillip Glass (Qaatsi Trilogy)
**Michel Gondry (film director / science slant, wanted to be a scientist as a teenager)
**Werner Herzog / Errol Morris (Arizona?)
**Santa Fe Institute, President is Geoffrey West, houses scientists and writers (New Mexico)
**Mary Carrillon, Ice Stories, providing scientists with media tools and programming (Exploratorium, San Francisco)
**UC Santa Cruz Science Writing Program / Scientific Illustration Program--several recommendations, names (speak with Robert Irion)
**Tap into Shannon's Contacts with National Geographic, International League of Conservation Photographers

UCSB Locals:
**Milton Love (fisheries biologist, if science is culture, then go see Dr. Milton Love)
**Barry Spacks, poet married to a scientist, reaching into the science realm (outsider, third person)
**Affiliations with the Jean-Michel Cousteau Society, Ocean Futures, Home Planet Productions
**Michael Hanrahan, Blue Horizons, UCSB
**Dotty (scientific illustration at Kerr Hall, UCSB)

www.roadtripnation.com/apply --> Shannon/Victoria Switzer/Minnich stokastika@gmail.com wovenatom

What I wrote on my profile for Roadtrip Nation.
Though my hand-me-down name is Victoria, my self-proclaimed writing/artistic name is "Stokastika," which means seeking order from chaos. In a nutshell, I am a California native (but Half-Greek) born in a family with a lineage of scientists... but I have an instrinsic propensity to express myself and my knowledge of science through humorous narratives and multi-media ventures. I am very much interested exploring a profession integrating science, art, and inspiring/educating various audiences in the dimensions of human-environmental change. Participating in Roadtrip Nation can help me become exposed to those few people who are willing to "step outside the box" of the ivory towers and connect the dots in any way possible to address and solve real-world problems. Being a conventional scientist simply is not enough. For a brief synopsis of my relativistic identity crisis, please visit: http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/whoistokastikashort.pdf (short version) and http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/whoisvictoriastokastikaLONG.pdf (long version, it's a bit haranguing, but it shall do!). And most importantly, a resume can be viewed here: http://stokastika2.googlepages.com/vminnichroadtripnationRESUME.pdf

Why do I want to hit the road?
My great friend Shannon and I are very determined to go on an indie roadtrip because we are two "anomalous scientists" with very similar, yet non-traditional, artistic visions for our future, though we don't know where these opportunities are. Though we have survived years of education, internships, and jobs closely revolving around the sciences (biology, earth sciences, environmental sciences), we have come to realize that the conventional recipe of being a scientist in the university is falling short of solutions in terms of educating and inspiring wider audiences, as well as leading to drastic changes in the human-environmental condition, ranging from shifting collective consciousness to changing policy and management of ecosystems. Shannon and I, with our emerging skills and experiences in art, are attempting to venture out of the comfort zone of the university "ivory towers," foraging for professions at the interface of science and society. Who are those people who go out on a limb to make science accessible, fun, and available to address real-world problems? Who are those people who make science a culture of change?

Tentative Route.
I myself have a "sacrificial lamb" of a car (Subaru Legacy, 1993) that I am willing to paint green for the purpose of the trip. Shannon and I discussed the potential of coordinating a trip either up-and-down the West Coast or the East Coast, but then we decided to cater our route more along the lines of accessibility of major interviewees. Hypothetically, if Al Gore were available to be interviewed in San Francisco, then I think we would coordinate most of our adventures/interviews along the West Coast. If John Bohannon ("Gonzo Scientist") were available for an interview in Boston, then I'd think we'd cater toward an East Coast trip. Our goal is to remain realistic, affordable, and within a two week time-frame.

Primary questions I would ask the interviewee.
(1) Who are you? (2) Where you are from? (3) What is your profession? (4) What is a basic overview of what you do in your job / basic duties? / a day in the life of? (5) Do you love what you do? (6) Why do you love what you do? (7) What are the circumstances that led to your profession? (a) childhood upbringing (b) more recent experiences / job opportunities? (8) What are the major conflicts you faced throughout your life that have potentially impeded your vision--pathway? (e.g. self expectations versus family expectations versus peer pressure versus educational pressure versus societal expectations) (9) What are some of the hardest decisions and major sacrifices you had to make to pursue your dreams? (10) Did you have a vision of becoming who you are now, or was it more of an accident--chance opportunity meets a prepared mind--and you grew into the job that you worked through? In other words, did you design society's coat around you, or did society give you some one-size-fits-all-coat and you sort of grew into it? (11) What is the fundamental driver/motivation that had sustained the spark for you to get to where you are today? (12) How do you define science? The underlying human behavioral practices of science? (13) How do you define art? (14) Where do you draw the line between science and advocacy? (15) Do you feel that science is only practiced in the university? (16) How do you become a "legitimate scientist"? (17) What is the role of science in society? (18) How does your profession relate to other professions around you? Who do you interact with on a daily basis? Do you consider yourself a specialist or a generalist / synthesizer? Inbreeding or outsourcing? (19) With a society crutching so much on scientific and technological knowledge, future leaders essentially need to be detail-savvy--to be able to dig deep into the rabbithole beyond the user-friendly consumer interface--just to make rational decisions about how to manage lifestyle as a collective. What do you see the role of the future scientist? What do they need to know? Especially in the realm of environmental issues? (20) Fundamental take-home message?

**Additional questions (a) Work completely consuming you and your life (b) What were you doing at our age (around 21)?

Two interviews of choice out of 10 that I sampled.
After watching about 10 videos, I have come to the realization that the two most "pertinent" or "ideal" interviews to our interests were those of (1) Dr. Andrew Steele (astrobiologist at NASA) and (2) Atoosa Rubenstein (editor-in-chief of 17 magazine). Dr. Steele's chat on astrobiology to a non-technical audience was quite impressive such that a complex topic was boiled down to simplicity and that his storytelling was engaging. I also wanted to see how the interviewers approached Dr. Steele: what specific questions did they ask him? And how did they respond? The second interview of choice was surprisingly Atoosa Rubenstein, primarily because she had the most vibrant, enthusiastic personality out all the clips I watched. Since Atoosa radiated positive energy around her, I noticed that I paid much more attention to what she had to say compared to all the other interviews. Having the opportunity to have a conversation wich such a unique character--despite her discipline or profession--would be a treat on its own!

My reaction to the interviews.
I left Dr. Steele's interview feeling inspired by his quoteable quotes such as "we are stardust" and that "no one has the right to pigeonhole us," but I felt that he left out a lot of information in terms of "What is the daily life of a scientist?" "And what are the pros and cons about being a scientist?" "How does your work specifically impact our daily life?" In addition, I would have pushed hard on trying to acquire B-roll, or essentially more visualization of what Dr. Steele stares at every single day through a microscope. Dr. Steele may have been a happy camper, but many students are mortified by the mere sight of a microscope. The aftertaste of Atoosa's interview was much like the rare delight of my mother's homemade cheesecake. I felt like that if I met Atoosa when I was an undergraduate, I probably would have hung out with her quite a bit as my "serious adventure" buddy. If I haphazardly ran into her in a coffeeshop, I would have had an epic one-hour conversation with her. No matter what Atoosa does, she will carry along her great vibes with her.

Additional questions to ask the interviewees.
There were several questions not touched upon in both interviews. As mentioned previously, I would have liked to have known more about "a day in the life" of a scientist such as Dr. Steele, as well as learning about what he thought the significance of his research was to society. A few other topics that were not addressed were (1) What were his activities or passions when he was a child? How did he fall in love with biology and not any other discipline? (2) How did his family encourage/discourage him through life? (3) What were the "other open doors" that he was adamant about keeping open? (4) If he had an opportunity to tell a story about his technical research to a non-traditional audience (say a classroom full of middleschoolers), how would the story look like (book, cartoons, film)? What would be the basic plot and characters? (5) How does he see the future of science? What will scientists be expected to know and do? A few questions I would be eager to ask Atoosa are: (1) Did she ever face major obstacles or conflicts with her family or background as a kid to get to where she are today? (2) Though her work consumes her, what does she do to take a break? (3) What is a typical "day in the life" of the Seventeen Magazine Editor-in-chief? (4) What is her magazine doing to inspire and raise awareness among the teen culture about environmental issues and opportunities to play a role in human-environmental change?